Duality

Who am I living writing for? Part one.

One of the main components of journalism is audience. Who are we writing for? Who will be reading our words? As a magazine student, you spend considerable time mapping the pages of magazines: visualizing the individual reader and understanding the tone and language of the magazine, since this information dictates the style of writing that should be committed to your currently blank Microsoft Word document. We are told to write to “fit” some generic editorial prototype. Essentially, we are trained to please our audience.

I secretly possess that same mentality in my personal life. My grandmother was my reason for choosing Medill. I didn’t want to be THE grandchild who went away to college and never returned.  I allowed myself to entertain my Ex longer than preferred because I didn’t want to break his heart like most couples when they depart for college. I drove myself crazy last spring hunting summer jobs in Orlando to help my Mother adjust to living in a new place. My personality has been one who caters to my audience; family and friends who I love dearly.

William Zinsser asked in his best-seller On Writing Well: “Who am I writing for?” His answer, “You are writing for yourself.”

At the end of the day, I can sit and imagine William Hearst himself as my audience, but how could he enjoy my words if I don’t have a passion for them myself? I can also sit and elaborately plan how to successfully live my life in a way to bring happiness to the ones I love, but how happy will I be in the end?

Zinsser adds: “Just as it takes time to find yourself as a person, it takes time to find yourself as a stylist, and even then your style will change as you grow older.”

My style as a writer may not ever fit the girly Front-of-Book departments in Cosmo. My life-choices may not ever directly satisfy any of my family or friends. I have no idea how my writing style and future will evolve, but I will remember the following before every blank Word document:

I am (living) and writing for myself.

MJ's Sermon

September 12^th, 2010

MJ: Well, your mind is where God’s spirit dwells, the Holy Spirit (your conscious)… and the heart/your feelings are of your flesh. So, you’re supposed to trust your mind more than your heart.

Late night G-Chat conversations prove to be the healthiest and most enriching in college. Since you’re on this crack schedule that does not permit sleeping at “normal-people” times of the night, your mind is more capable of being distracted from boring homework and brought into deep reflection. Last night was one of those nights, as the theme of this September 12^th conversation contains life-long relevancy.

My entire junior year can be summed-up into one noun: feelings. When you’re enamored in any given person or situation, a bubble is created which does not provide any room for negative or meaningful thinking to penetrate. The only thing that matters is the actions inside of that bubble. However… if you’ve ever played with a bottle of bubbles during your childhood, you do realize that all bubbles formed eventually burst. And… we’re suddenly bombarded by the real world. We’re caught in a conflict between heart and mind. Which do you follow?

The never-ending drama and changes throughout that year brought me to a serious breaking point. I am very much so a Christian and believer in Christ as my Savior, but being at my lowest definitely made me work on my relationship with Him. Through that relationship, many of the decisions I’ve made became clear before my eyes.

We’ve all had feelings for someone so strong that all you want for them is pure happiness. And… you go out of your way to ensure that person’s happiness, sometimes, even before your own. However, your mind (under Christ’s influence) makes you question some of the things your heart is willing to do for them. Many see it as over-thinking the situation, yet some see it as a warning for the things your heart refuses to see.

Tip toe outside of your bubble for 5 minutes

Again, which do you follow?

Blood, Sweat, and TEARS... yield Transformation

I’ve always imagined college as an apparatus which receives you as a raw, unfinished product and yields a beautiful masterpiece. If that theory stands true, then it is to be assumed that there is a concise formula to achieving a successful college career. Every prospective j-school freshman is required to own and watch regularly The Devil Wears Prada (check). Each j-school freshman must have a favorite journalist, usually some hard news junky of The New York Times circa 1960 OR at least be able to name all the past editors of The New York Times (hmmm…). All j-school sophomores and juniors must have awesome summer internships where they’ve added print by-lines from top publications to their portfolios (gosh, does JC Penny count as an internship?). Lastly, a j-school senior will graduate and begin the life of their dreams: staff reporter/writer for a major publication in NYC accompanied by the love of their life that they’ve dated since freshman year.

Well… according to that formula, I am not anywhere near ready to graduate this upcoming June. Yes, I do own and watch The Devil Wears Prada regularly because it provides motivation. No, I do not know the editors of The New York Times, but I do know and own issues from Emil Wilbekin, Mimi Valdés, and Danyel Smith of Vibe Magazine (the past editors-in-chief of the best hip-hop magazine ever, hands down). No, I have not worked as a summer intern for any top publication, but I am the Managing Editor of Goddess Magazine, who also happens to write features and mentor my team of teen staff writers. Lastly, I am a j-school senior who will graduate in June 2011, yet has no concrete plans for post-graduation other than the desire to WRITE-- do notice my failure to touch on having a love of my life… as of now; my baby boys are the only guys who fit that criterion. I am a writer at heart, with a passion for helping and telling the pure stories of those who cannot express themselves. I am a human being who exudes the beauties and imperfections of my soul. This newsy yet slightly personal blog will illustrate the makings of MY masterpiece.